Where I have Been

It comes as no surprise to some, but I have been going through some hard times as of late. My wife left us (my daughter and I) and I have been having a hard time finding a church to serve. While I am not going to pretend that all has been rosy, it has not; while I will not pretend I have not questioned, I have; while I will not insult your intelligence by telling you “I’m doing great,” because I am not – but what I am going to tell you is that I have come to completely trust and focus on Christ in all this, and that has been the hardest thing for me to do – but one I believe was needed.

I will not pretend to say that “God caused this” to teach me lesson, because I don’t believe that for a second. But what I do believe is that God will be in the healing. I am not certain what God will do – I am certain that what comes of this mess, it will be a great blessing up us (me and my daughter) and that God is keeping us wrapped in His arms. This has been a two-year process of ups and downs, and I have not always focused on God through it all. But this time I have come to place my complete trust in Him who is watching and loving us.

I believe, in my heart of hearts that God is in control and all will work out according to his plan. Keep us in your prayers and we seek to do as God desires.

Pax

the glory of tech

i was bored today so i did something i hardly ever do - i went into my "cpanel" and looked at some stats - ginkworld.net is growing at a great rate, over the year that i have been using this hosting company our average monthly hits have climed from a little over 5,000 to just over 10,000 - cool. but in that good news comes some strange news - it turns out that i have an email address connected to my "cpanel" and i did not know it - so, i looked in and what did i find? some 1,200 emails dating back to 12/22/02 - all that missed email - some was junk, no problem - but some of it was friends, and i missed getting back with them because of this little known catach all that seems to direct email to that account, as it sees fit. so, it you emailed me durring this period, i am sorry if i did not return your email - it was nothing against you, honest - tech is grand.

pax

over time it sinks in, and over time it forms a stark reality that you deal with - the church is dead. now, before you get you panties in a twist think about that - the church is dead. it is; it truly is. the deeper i get into this thing called "theology" the deeper i ceom to the realization that the church is dead and beyond help - now that that is said let me add that i believe a community of faith is alive and well. let me expain what i mean by "church:"

church is a place of duelisms - where the right hand does not even know there is a left hand, never mind anyother part of the body. a church is a place that uses it "humanity" as a reason for it's problems, while at the same time claiming to be transformed by the spirit. it is a place where one is taught in "one baptism, one faith, on God: as long as it is our method of baptism, our understanding of faith and our God. a place where we believe in the "priesthood of all believers" yet we maintain and demand a "priestly class." a place where they speak of healing, yet cause the most pain on a person. a place where love is spoken in the open, and gossip is taled about behind. a place where you are hugged, while being stabbed in the back - a church is a placve where people are tole they are welcomed, yet their ideas are not. a church is a place where money and building are the central ministries.

a community of faith, while nowhere near perfect, is a place where people can love, are looked to for love and accepted with open arms. a community of faith is not a place where they claim anything they can not do - they are honest, transparent and open to change - a place where people admit their humanity without claiming any level of perfection. - it is people searching for a relationship with people by coming to God.

pax