what i would look like if all you knew was my spam folder

have you ever wondered what people would think about you if all they could see was your spam folder? think about that, if all we had was your spam folder what would we think about you?

ok, granted - i am bored. i am sitting in my fav cafe [la boca, in sacramento], watching soccer, while watching all the interactions of the people - and it got me thinking [right after i dumped over 1,500 emails from just one spam folder from one email account] what would people think of me if they simply read my spam folder? i mean, how would i come across? granted, i do not have much control of what comes via email into spam - but still, what would others think? if, 1,000 years from now, some futures indiana jones finds a copy of my spam folder, what would they write about me? here is what i think "future indy" would write about me:

"the subject sought to save hundreds of dollars on his car insurance, while seeking the best rates to finance and refinance his just purchased foreclosed home in the neighborhood of his dreams. He seemed to have done this while spending two free night in vegas, popping viagra and "natural male enhancement" pills he received via cheap canadian pharmacies, purchased with his free online credit card with a low introductory rate [while seeking to eliminate credit card debt]. It seems he spends his evening with special people he "hooked-up" with via the net, which he connected to using his free "powerful" laptop - all that between colon cleaning and weight loss. it is amazing that he found the time to receive his "cheap" online degrees in criminal justice, physiology and ministry, while striving to retire in three years."

if all people knew about you was what was in your span folder, what would you look like? what if people judged you via your spam folder? well, that seems unfair to ask, because in reality most of us do judge people by their "spam folder" - we judge people on what they look like, their past actions and the "spam" that fills their lives from others - we do it all the time - but, what if you knew what others thought of you - would that change your mind? being defined by our spam folders seems harsh, but so does judging people by what others have to say, or their past actions - hmmm, what does your spam folder say about you?

blended families

define what it means to be a blended family? think about that for a second and share what you think the definition of a blended family is. this has been something that has been on my mind for a while, and more so as of late. over the past few weeks a dear friend [denise] and i have been talking about this idea of a "blended family" and what it means. we have been in process over the term and how God views such families. think about this, what are the "requirements" placed on the family by the church for a family to be considered "blended" - but here is an even more important question - how does the church truly VIEW "blended families?" why do some churches see "blended families?" as "less then" families? you see, for me all families are blended - all families. all families blend together traditions, culture, family and friends; all families are are blended.

but let me share with you a little story of a man who decided to take the "plunge" and marry a women who had a child. he was not sure about it, because he knew that in "church circles" the family would be seen as "less then normal" [he knew that the traditional view of a "blended family" was not viewed as the "primary family" in the eyes of some church people] - but he did it anyway. he loved the women so deeply and knew he would be a good father figure and could teach the child how to be a good man, a "godly man." so he did so, he married her and raised the child as if he was his own. even after bring other children into the marriage this man loved his eldest son and never thought in terms of a "blended family."

this man was named joseph and his son was named Jesus - think about that. our savior, our Lord, our light and model for all we do as followers is the product of a blended family - he was raised by the love and care of a man who felt God had brought him and mary together - he gave his all to teach his son, yes i am certain joseph saw Jesus as "his son," and loved him with all his heart. when we see the family of our savior as a "blended" family we start seeing things with different eyes - we start to see how God is working in the lives of others. if we see blended families as "less then" what we are saying is that Jesus was raised in a "less then" family.

so, how does one define "blended families?" i think we need to lose that term in the church and focus on what it means to be a "godly family" - what does it mean to be a family where God is the center, and where God is the guide to marriage and the way we relate to each other. you see, "blended" does not matter if we are not willing to allow God to be the "blending agent" in the family. you see, i believe what matters the most is that God is the center of the marriage and everything we do is founded on knowing, loving, and seeking to please God first. when we worship as a family, pray as a family, study as a family, share life as a family and know that God is the absolute center of that, nothing else matters; because with God all things are possible.

words that guide my faith journey

over the past few years i have been processing a great deal of life - some great, some good and some not so good - but life never the less. in that processing, i have been thinking a great deal about my faith journey and what God is doing to refine my faith walk. when i think of my faith journey some very important words come to mind, and help me in the process - let me share with you a few of the words that have great meaning to me:

forgiveness: i start with forgiveness because i believe it to be the most important thing that i as a follower must offer to others. to me, this is the most important part of my faith. i see forgiveness as so central to my journey that without it i feel i can easily walk off the path. for me, this is my forgiving those who have done me wrong, and knowing i am forgiven for the wrongs i have done others - believe it or not, in my heart, forgiveness starts and flows from God - i can not forgive on my own, i need to be in a constant relationship with Christ to truly express forgiveness to others - i need to trust in Christ to guide my heart to truly wanting to forgive those who have hurt me - while it is hard, i believe it is not impossible. i need to keep in mind that if i do not forgive others, i will never be forgiven my sins.

grace: this is me acting in kindness, finding a kind way of expressing thoughts that may see different then the ones held by others. it has not always been my strongest reality, but it is one i am trying hard to develop. you see, i can tell the truth in all cases and with grace i can make that truth meaningful, without hurting the feelings of others.

caring: i need to be ready to go that extra mile for others, even when i do not want to - and i have to admit that i have failed on this one big time. you see, sometimes [many times] i am unwilling to go that extra mile - i am unwilling to give of myself to the point where it is uncomfortable. interestingly, i have found that i am willing to help those i see as "being in need" but i am less likely to help those i see as "not needing" - i will give a homeless man some money, but am i willing to give to a man who has all? to be "caring" to me means we need to redefine what we see as "needs" and know that without Christ we are all in need.

love: believe it or not, love is not "high" on my list of words, not because it is not important, but because i believe we can not truly love until we forgive, care, and show grace to those around us - some would say that before we can do all that we need to love - but for me in my journey, i find loving someone as easy - i find caring for them, showing grace to them and forgiving them hard. for me, in my journey, i have found love to be over rated and fleeting.

acceptance: this may seem like grace, but i think it is deeper and harder. you see, we can show "grace" to a gay or lesbian, but can we accept them for who they are? we are quick to discount the "lifestyle" as "against a christian life style" but we have to ask - so are many other things we ignore. one pastor friend said, "God said he hated homosexuals" so we can not allow them into the church - ok, but the palmist tells us that God hates all who do wrong [plms 5:5]. so if we use what God hates as a bar from the church, we would have some pretty empty churches - oh, wait we do.

optimism: i just can not have a negative attitude when it comes to my faith - i have to see the good things in life. too much of our faith is based on what we are against, but it should be measured by what we are for. if we are for very little, we then need to rethink our faith and determine what it is we believe in.

journey: faith for me is not a destination, it is a journey - a walk, a rose i travel to find my way and experience how God works in my daily walk. if we view our faith as a destination, we stop our journey when we think we have arrived. if we say, "accept Jesus as your lord and savior and you will have eternal life" and "eternal life" is our destination, then simply by accepting Jesus we have arrived at our destination and the faith journey is over - so, for me, i need to rethink what it means to "accept Jesus as my lord and savior" not as a destination, but as a starting point where i work out my salvation in fear and trembling.

life: too many followers i know just do not like life - and man, we need to truly enjoy life. i seek to embrace it and live among God's people - i seek to express my life in words, art, song and deeds - i seek to eat at the table of life and feast on all that God has made - we need to stop acting like we were pickled upon baptism, and start acting like we truly have a new life in Christ.

unity: i seek to find the common ideas between us, and not seek out the differences. we have spent years looking for what divides us as a faith group and we need to stop and find our united center again.

fluid: things flow, and God sends waves of change into our lives. if i am unwilling to see the waves, i can not be doing what God asks of me - so i need to be fluid in my ideas, expressions and direction - totally and completely open to the powers of God.