are we the same?

i have been thinking lately about what makes "us" different than "them." i mean, all i keep hearing are voices saying, "we need to be nice and not question them" or "we need to remember that we too come from the evangelical church." yet, i wonder.... i don't.

i was not rasied in the evangelical church; i did not find christ in an evangelical church; i am not evangelical and i do not see my faith as "coming from them." so i wonder, are those people asking me [or the "us" - the collective mouse in my pocket :) ] to "be nice" and "build bridges" are evangelicals thinking they can stop the voices, or are they truly emerging voices asking for calm? because, if they are emerging voices asking that we accept the evangelcial theology, than i wonder. if we truly are to develop a voice, a theology, a "movement" we need not be driven by those who want to settle and give in. if we feel it important to question, we must have the ability to question - and even piss some people off.

i might not agree with some of the things my emerging brothers and sisters are doing, saying, writing, thinking or expressing - but they are willing to jump into the water and question, and that is cool - and a move i support.

i do not fit the evangelcial mold, and that is cool - i am who God made. i am post-evangelcial, post-traditional, post-orthodox, post-right, post-left, post-conservative, post-liberial, post-denominational, post-structure, post-follow, post-industrial, post-mechanical, post-solid, post-logical, post-demanding, post-leadership, post-religion - i am a servant, fluid, organic, emerging, expressive, theological, spiritual, open, accepting, searching, finding, knowing, forgetting, questioning, wanting, loving - but most of all i am a child of God seeking to love God so that God can love me. i seek to journey where the path is filled with holes, weeds, rocks, dips and turns. and i desire others to walk with me. but it is hard to be on that journey with people who do not see the path, or even worse they do not see who they journey with.

if we are to be emerging, we are not to fall back into the trap of being evangelical - it might be easier, and it might even be "home" to some - but if that is the case, then we are no different than those we question from the start. it is impossible to place new wine in old skins, it will never work. if, anyone tells you it is possible, i would question the age of the wine. i am not evangelical, and it has take a number of years for me to be willing to stand and say that. as of late i have heard voices wanting to "slow down" and "get to know our evangelical" family - funny, i am "the red headed stepchild" and just never feel welcome in the evangelical home.