an open position

i received the link to this via a email from a friend looking for a position. he was shocked and even insulted by the nature of this ad. he could not believe that any church would have such a position while there are people starving, homeless and hurting in this world.

me? i found it mostly funny. why? well, mainly because it's the crystal cathedral, and the "b and b schuller" boys [or as the site likes to say "drs. schuller I & II] are only life-like blowups of humans - so, can we actually expect them to care about the poor and the hurting? please, this is a church that has a "travel ministry" so you can get discounts on airfare. this is a church that has a gift store, because one can never have enought "power of positive thinking" t-shirts and coffee mugs.

now, we also have to remember that the pastors and exectutive of this holy and grand church must have the right to have a person drive them around - after all, have you ever driven in la traffic? i mean, it's hard work and these great and powerful leaders of the church have more important things to do with their valuable and holy time, right? do you truly think the "b and b" boys could drive themselves? think about the dextarity needed to opporate a car, fix your hair and make an appointment for a nip and tuck.

think of it this way, as a pastor in the crystal [or an excutive] you have this great idea to get a bit to eat. now, the place you desire to eat is a block away from the holy grounds of the crystal. so, you call for your driver to meet you in the front of the building to drive you the block for that quick bite. now, your happy - you eat and did not have to break a sweet walking one block.

when you have such great, holy and powerful godly men like steven curtis chapman or mike gottfried or jack brown or charles billingsley [men who would willingly give the time of day to a homeless family] do you think they should drive themselves around? any church that would make these men even think of driving themselves should hardly call themsleves a church - me, personally, i am waiting for the possition of "executive ass wipe" to open at the crystal - now, that would be one i apply for - except i am not sure they would hire me, my finger nails grow too fast :)


Executive Driver
Garden Grove, CA

Denomination: Non-Denominational
Worship Style: Traditional
Church Size: 1501 to 2000
Job Status: Full Time

Job Summary:
Responsibilities include safe and secure driving and escorting of ministry guests, executives and special ministry visitors including the Founder and Senior Pastor. Requires close coordination with Security Department and flexibity to work in ususual [unusual], emergency or unpredictable situations. Prepares proper route planning and assists with personal requests of guests and passengers. Maintains proper operation, appearance of executive vehicles, and log information.
Supports the Crystal Cahtedral [Cathedral] Ministries Statement of Purpose and Mission.

Skills/Abilities:
Must possess and maintain valid California drivers license with acceptable driving record. Must be able to read maps and be computer literate. Must maintain highest professionalism and confidentiality, including proper decorum, positive and pleasant attitude and approrpriate [appropriate] attire at all times. Position offers medical and dental, paid time off (vacation, sick leave, holidays) and a 403B plan.

Church: Crystal Cathedral Ministries
Contact: George Napper
Email: Click Here to Email
Phone: 714 971 4332
Address: Crystal Cathedral Ministries
ATTN: George Napper
13280 Chapman Ave
Garden Grove, CA 92840

Website: crystalcathedral.org