contemplating your navel

ever just get in one of those "i am thinking moods?" you know, the ones where you want to say something but you are filled with questions and no answers? like, how do you define friendship? what elements need to be there for a friendship to develop? does one need to be in contact all the time? does one need to touch? can friendships be developed over the internet? what defines friendship for you?

i am not sure i have the answers, because as soon as i do i notice that people who claimed to be my friend - are no longer my friends. people who i could email and have conversations fall off the face of the earth and when i email, nothing. or when i visit, there is no mention of our friendship - how does that come to be? what quality in friendship makes it cheap and short lived? what quality of friendship makes it shut down soon after it's started?

i have always been a rahter feeling kind of guy, and i value my friendships so when one seems to go away, for no real reason, i feel hurt. how does one value a friendship? are people friends because they can offer you something, or are they your friends because you simply desire friendship?

i think for most people friendship is rather cheap and meaningless. for me, it is the greatest thing i have to offer, me.

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