in my seemingly mad search for very cool, and off the wall site, i came across this little gem - the phobia list site - that's right a site that lists many of the phobias - her's some of my personal favs:

theologicphhobia - fear of theology
theophobia - fear of gods or religions
homilophobia - fear of sermons
ecclesiophobia - fear or church
lutraphobia - fear of otters - come on, who could ever fear an otter, please.

as you visit the list - and i know you will - record you fave phobia - here are a few i just though of:

punkamonkalistophobia - fear of stupid lists developed by punk monkey
crapahomilophobia - fear of crappy sermons
megacrapahomilophobia - fear of really crapy sermons
smackawackaduddleophobia - fear of nothing, it just sounded cool

i wonder if it's me, or if i'm just in the same run with everyone else - but are many who claim to be cristian just filled with hot air? sure, they give money, but very little time. on a "republican" end, the political party screams that throwing money at a problem will never solve a problem - only action will - yet the "conserative christians" that fill our churches don't want to do, they simply want to write a check and make it go away.

i have seen this first hand, and i am getting sick thinking about it - one year, while i was the senior pastor, the elders of the church came up with a great idea - all the leaders whould volunteer at a local kitchen and "show" how to help. as the date got closer, and closer - what was to be a show of action, turned into the church writing a check to help with the kitchen - over a months time, every last elder backed out because of "family matters." one elder, at the elders meeting, said, "just because we are unable to go does not mean we should not have the paid staff go - this will be good for them, it should teach them to serve." intersting, as this time of the year comes around, and memories like this pop in my head - i keep asking myself "what would a christian do?" - just an idea.

there i was, sitting high on the top limbs of a tree looking down on the world wondering where i would travel next. as i was looking over the trees, i noticed in a clearing two bugs walking and fight with each other over who was a true bug. the first bug said, "i have six legs and three body parts, and that is what makes a true bug." the other simply looked and replied, "how silly. i have six legs and three body parts also, that does not make you a true bug - i have antenna, and as every living thing should know - antenna are what makes a true bug." the first bug thought for a second and answered, "i do have antenna, but not only two. mine are hair like antenna all over my body, so that must be a true sign of a true bug." the second simply shock his head with disbelief, "how could you be so silly? that is not the true sign of a true bug." but, just before the second bug could continue a large bird came swooping out of the sky and eat both bugs. as it stood there i asked, "why did you eat those creature?" the bird replied, "they were bugs." then i added, "but they were arguing over which was a true bug. neither thought the other was a true bug." to which the bird replied, "it doesn't matter much what they thought, they were bugs and they both tasted like a bug." and with that the bird flew away.

pax
john

there is this new site at asks, "what would jesus drive?" well, this is a no brainer - come on let's get real. that has to be the sillest question ever - everyone who is a true christian would know that jesus would ride a "fat-boy." i find the question silly and so simplistic - "what would jesus drive/" is not the question - it's "what would jesus ride?" and as i said before - a fat boy.

pax

i have a concern, and i am not sure anyone can truly help - though you never know. when i talk with my more conservative partners in ministry and mention that i detest any forms of gossip, rude talk or rude behavior within the a christian community i am quickly countered with the "but we are only human" argument. they say that we can not judge a christian by the way they talk - even though i can point to a number of scriptures that say we must live a peace-filled, grace-bounded, forgiving-centerded life - i am told that as humans this is impossible - ok, i understand but i can not accept the argument. but here's where i have the problem:

my wife smokes: if i had a dollar for everytime i was told that that was unacceptable for a christian, and even more so for a ministers wife, i would be right. they say that 'the body is a temple' and smoking hurts the temple. interesting, because when given a simular argument jesus said it is not what goes in that hurts, but what comes out - words, gossip; hurtful words where people desire control.

i like to drink: now i am not a lush, but i do enjoy a good glass of wine, or an ice cold wheat beer, with a nice cut of beef. when i mention that i drink, christians freak. even though thay can show no supporting scripture to say that drinking is wrong, they insist that as a true christian i not drink.

i use "culture rich" words. if i kept all the email i got for the article "10 reasons your church sucks" it would have filled my in box 20 times. now, none of the email said i was wrong in what i said, they just could not deal with the fact that a minister uses the word "sucks." the emails dealt with the fact that "such lanuage is not proper for a minister, or for a christian at all." well, piss on that (my email address is john@ginkworld.net).

i am amazed at the duelism of conservative christianity - they have confused social issues with bibical realities, and they see the outside as proof of a life in christ - bad form guys.

pax

i'm stepping out on a limb here - but here goes; today, the senate took the first step in creating a new "usamerica" - a fascist usamerica. i know many will disagree, i know i will get a ton of email wanting me to die (a few telling me i'm right would be nice) and i am certian i will be added to some fbi list for thinking this way - but then again, is that not the seeds of fascism?

ok, this is just too gross - this is how i would look as a bjork/barth/jester - God, i pray i can not reporduce. i guess it could be worse - i could have been a osbourne kid. i know it looks like i gound be, but come on - i'm just too cute.

pax

ok, now i'm a bjork/barth with jester traits - i am going crazy, if you are interested in joining me in my insanity - you can hit this place, there are more tests to see who you are - and i won't be the only one stupid enought to buy into all this garbage.



What Was Your PastLife?

i felt. because i am a "bjork/barth" kind of person i would skip a time of posting, but then realized that my "barth" side would not be pleased with that idea - so i was able to hold down the "barth" side for only a little while - not the "barth side" is lose, and the posts will continue - with a bjork twist. well, maybe - it depends on the muse in me -

ok, this is all because of jordon, but now i have to find these sites that tell me who i am - man, now im "bjork." this might not be as bad as i think - but i am not wearing a swan dress to the grammy's - hey, it could be worse. i could be "enya" -



Who are you?

so, how does this all work? am i "barth with bjork treats" or am i "bjork with a hint of barth?" well, all i can say is i just tossed out five years and $30,000.00 worth of professional help - make me an appointment doc, i'm coming back -

pax

did you ever have one of those experiences where you thought one thing, and something very different happened? well, i had one this weekend at the "upstairs leadership conference." my first thought was that i was going to be in the middle of a bunch of southern baptists, and this is going to be weird. but i tell you what, it was actually great. sure, there were some who could not get past the shaved head, the earrings, the black cloths - and more - but all in all, i was made to feel very welcomed and very accepted. many people actually like what i had to share about postmodern theology, and ministry in a emerging church.

but the best part of the whole experience was getting to know to groups of people - and let me share a bit about each group:

THE BRIDGE: this group of people is fantastic. aaron norwood, and all the people, were open, loving, kind, welcoming and best of all - postmodern. it was great to talk with people who "get it." anything i wanted, they went out of there way to get me - a pure servant heart - and need i say, "a kicking worship band."

THE GATHERING: this groups was wonderful. they were like sponges, wanting more and more of all God was offering. doug and his team invited me to share with them at their church (word of grace) when i was finished at the confrence. i was made to feel very welcomed and the meeting we had that night was one filled with questions and wonderful insite.

as i look back on the weekend, one thing came to be, that if nothing else would have happened this would have been worth it all - the bridge and the gathering got to know each other, even if just a little - a new relationship can now start to form. some of the people attend both services and not their leaders know each other - and like each other - and the process of building the kingdom can now take hold. i praise God for all he is doing and all he is striving to do, as time moves on.

pax
john

i got this site from my fellow walker jordon cooper - it's interesting. it turns out, i'm a "karl barth" go figure

"We reject the false doctrine that the church could have permission to hand over the form of its message and of its order to whatever it itself might wish or to the vicissitudes of the prevailing ideological and political convictions of the day."

You are Karl Barth! You like your freedom, and are pretty stubborn against authority! You don't care much for other people's opinions either. You can come up with your own fun, and often enough you have too much fun. You are pretty popular because you let people have their way, even when you have things figured out better than them.

What theologian are you?

A creation of Henderson

i got an email from jack oliver "deputy chairman of the republican national committee" today thanking me for helping to put the republicans in office - wow. wait, how did he knoiw who i voted for? who told him how i voted? interesting! this can only be seen in two lights: 1) this is simply junk spam sent out by the "rnc" in hopes of rubbing victory in the face of those who did not vote for their people. 2) somehow they were about to get my vote after i voted.

the second seems possible. i voted in nevada and we have "electric voting" - i vote and the info is stored on a card that is later read by another computer, but i wonder. i did notice a lot of cables on the floor - some electric and others, i don't know - now, they could have been heart cables for all the old people helping with the election.

my vote (and i am certian they are reading this vote as well) is that it's spam sent to everyone.... "ha, ha, we won."

"An unprecedented number of Republican volunteers made the difference by working to spread our candidate's message, and get voters to the polls. The tremendous Republican gains were enabled by the incredible work and dedication of Republican supporters and negated the Democrat machine's efforts."

i don't mind winners, and i don't mind losers, but i do mind winners that have to shove it in your face - even when one does not vote for their people -

pax

ok, it's up and ready to be posted too - if you are interested in joining the new blog "postmodern theology" let me know - all it takes is an email and your in - we just laucnhed and just sent out the first batch of ivites and we already have six people signing up - and a ton more on the way. this is great - a "breeding place" for ideas that effect the emerging church - cool.

pax

we are putting the finishing touches - this week - on a new blog connected with the egroup "postmodern theology." this should be very cool and be a place where a great many people will have voice.

pax

our friend jason evens - the church at matthews house - is looking for help in funding a mission trip to africa. here's part of what he wrote in an email to me:

"If you would like to donate to our expenses for this journey, there are two different ways to contribute. The first option is to send us a check made out to Matthew's House (please write Jason Evans in the “Memo” line) and mail it to the address below. Donations through Matthew’s House are tax deductible. The second option is to visit my website at http://myvalentine.blogspot.com. I have a PayPal account so that you can easily make a safe donation online with your credit card."

check out his blog, and the churches site, for more information on the trip; give and help this mission trip out - jason is a great guy and the mission is worth wide.

pax
punk monkey

ok, sure i'm playing - i have edited all the past posts with pic so that actually have something to say - as if i ever have anything to actuall say. i did this so that the post "had meaning" (yea, i know - just say it and get it over with). you see, i love learning curves, no matter how they turn. i have to thank my friend andrew jones for his help. andrew emailed me to tell me how to get the pic lined up with the text - for the life of me i could not figure out how to write the code (yet i write a ton of code) - anyway, andrew emailed me and i emailed him back - but we are both so active that we keep missing each other - so, i check out his site and "stole" the way he puts his code out - check out andrew's blog, great stuff and the pics line up cool ;-)

pax
punk monkey

i get about 300 emails a day. i would say some 60% is spam and junk - i get everything from notices on dating (i'm married and my wife is not too keen on me dating, go figure) to way to make millions by "using your computer." but, finally - after all this time - i got something in the junk that might look good - a way to keep hair from growing, and it's natural - wait, no - it's 39.95 (regularly 59.95) what a deal! nut then again, the company is in new jersey and the question is, "if it's from jersey, can it truly be natural?"

ok, this should line up in the left of the pic. i'm adding rambling text to see if i have masered this code thing for pics - or, i could be adding rambling text because that is what i do best? hard to tell, right?

ok, here i am sitting by myself and i am wondering out loud - so don't freak - but i think one foot is bigger then the other. now i know this may not seem like a big deal to you - but that got me looking and i noticed that the entire right side of my body is bigger then the left - and that freaks me out. my right leg, bigger; my right hand, bigger; my right arm, bigger, my right butt cheek, bigger - the whole right side of my body - if this keeps up, i'll be a freak, a laughing-stock of the punk monkey world. as parents walk past me with their children they will say, "look child, that is what a freak looks like. his right side of his body is so much bigger then the left." and the child will scream and cry and run to the safty of their father, who will want to thrash me within a inch of my life because i freaked his child out - this is not good, this is not good at all - oh, wait. i forgot to take my meds this morning - my bad, all will be right in a few hours - as soon as the meds kick in. wow, the power of that little purple pill, or do i take the blue one today? well, time will tell -